acidspit

she's mad at the world and herself, really

2007-04-05T16:59:00.000+08:00

Is it that surprising for me to have emotions?

I know I rarely do emo/wangsty posts... but what I don't get is ppl's reactions about it. One; they get surprised. Or Two; they just pretend everything is fine.

Everyone has some sort of emotion. Why are you staring at me like I have a horn on my head? I do feel sad and morose like the rest of you. It's just I am not inclined to show it that much.

A lot of things make me sad/disturb me/shatter my frail ego. A lot of them are terribly petty small things that I choose to NOT burden ppl with it. So I put on a smile and do a lil twirl -- no one's the wiser.

But sometimes, after you bottled up the negativity for so long... you have to let it out somehow. So I let it out -- but ppl seems to ignore the hurt. HAHAHAHAAH WHY IS THAT? I've seen ppl with petty problems ~~that can be solved with a whack to the head~~ and they attract sockpuppets by the thousands. I've seen ppl do horrible things to themselves to get attention. I've seen ppl draw fanart of cutesy characters drawn in goth gear that it's a terrible mismatch but they get accolades.

Just because I don't cut myself, you act like nothing's happened?

Once, I was with a group of friends and something happened. True I was slightly angry but I pretended to be very angry/emo about it -- in fact I 'parodied' how someone in that group I was with acted all the time... emo angsty drama queen. The person I was 'parodying' told me to stop being so wangsty. How f*cked up was that??! When you're being all sad & dramatic, the others and I try to comfort you and coax you to talk. But when I pull the same bullshit, you can't even give me the same amount of care I show you.

You give and you give. But in the end, do you get anything back? Just empty promises and a whole lot of nothing.

MUSE LIVE '07

2007-02-26T18:41:00.000+08:00

Went to the MUSE concert last night RWAAAAAARRRRRRRRR

Unlike other ppl who'd probably be headbanging to the albums before the event, what did I do? Cleaning/mopping the house & levelling up in FF5. Gah what an auntie I've become ;____;

Anyway... a big!thank you to Kuzu-tachi who graciously helped me buy the tickets when I went off galivanting to S'pore. My eternal gratitude in a box, shall arrive in your mailboxes LOL
Thanks to Fenix & her dad for the lift to the venue and back too :D

The concert was smashing btw. Thank goodness we didn't get the moshpit seats... it'd be fun but you'd get smushed. The bad kind of smush. EEW NO.

Fenix's comment of Matt 'dressed like an angpau' is probably the most accurate term for the event = RED tracksuit against dark backdrop = WOTTA WAY TO STAND OUT LOL

I'm satisfied with the playlist since they played the earlier songs that I hoped for. #1 being 'Feeling Good' XDDDD Too bad no 'Please Please Let Me Get What I Want'. I'd love to hear that live, eventho it's so short.

Great concert and the ppl were euphoric.. we even amused/mortified ourselves looking at the audience antics. (Bad dancing, guy getting told off for taking off his shirt, white peeee-puhle hurhur) But I seriously do not get why everyone was screaming earlier during the soundcheck. I mean, it's the soundcheck ppk going up on stage, doing his job.... and then ppl start screaming like it was Muse themselves hurhur Man, Malaysia truly Asia ~~aren't we a retarded bunch?~~

What did we get in the end? Besides the experience, we chipped together for some MUSE pins :DDDDD Too bad Jackee lost hers :(((( Kuzu of course, being the ultra-fan started pillaging and looting.... well the stuff's free anyway. Ain't no crime XD

Then I went home and levelled up in ff5 some more. AUNTIE~~!!!

ps; the Knights of Cydonia video cracked my brain. Spaghetti western + 70's kungfu movies + 70's sci-fi? Methinks my late dad would've enjoyed it. Esp the poke at the Planets of the Apes movie.

a note

2007-02-14T12:08:00.000+08:00

Just so you know, I'll be on holiday (travelling to Mom's for Chinese New Year) for a bit. I'll be back by the 21st ;) Happy V-day ppl!

bleh

2007-02-14T12:06:00.000+08:00

I finally caught up with Air Gear and Shinshi Doumei Cross :DDDDD

Air Gear wwas pretty much Air Gear but SDC? That manga is srsly WTF (in a good way) because things just happen randomly and PLOT TWISTS! Like Maora being the mailman HUH??!! That threw me off but what I don't get is... when Maora is in GIRL form, he's short. When he's in GUY form, he's taller than the girls. HUH?

That doesn't make sense at all. I can accept the guy is actually a HAWT guy dressed up as girl. But the height difference thing is like... DURRRRRR.

Anyway I got tagged -- but I have a feeling I've done this before.

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks.

1. I have some sort of hydrophobia... I get kinda nervous when surrounded by a huge body of water. I think it stems from the fact that I can't swim.

2. I can't eat spicy food. Hey that's not weird, you say. Well in my case, I really can't eat spicy food. I have a very sensitive tongue and I can still taste a smidgen of chili in a glass of water I kid you not. Me + spicy food = It burns with the fury of a thousand suns OWOWOWOW I NEED A GLASS OF MILK NOW Suugeeeee nekojita damon.

3. I'm very sensitive to temperature and its changes.... rapid changes will make me all fluey and sick. I need an environment where it's stable and dry <-- I sound like a plant.

4. Totally not a morning person. My energy is at its peak during the night. All nighters = no problem after I catch a 20 minute nap.

5. I am very very.... obsessive compulsive(?) about my books. I don't like seeing dents or rips or folds or scratches or bent pages on them and I really don't like when ppl open my books so wide that it bends the spine T_T (no 1 way to get into my hatelist is to do that) I'm very particular about my books, kay? I also peel off the price tags on my books and paste them back unto the inner back cover.

6. .... *seriously thinking atm* I am much more lucid/fluent on paper? Seriously, I write better than I speak. Because when I speak I sound like a retard.

7. I tend to over-think about stuff that's already happened. For instance, suppose I jumped over a very wide drain. I made it but my brain would start thinking about what would happen if I didn't make it. It would start thinking about the various scenarios and blabla... a waste of brain power.

8. I.. find it hard to make friends IRL due to past trauma.

9. Believe it or not, my first 12 years of life I WAS THE GOOD QUIET GIRL. Never raised my voice at anyone. And then came high school and I changed. For the worse.

10. I actually have a fear going down stairs. Actually it's a feeling of caution and restlessness caused by the fact that I feel down the stairs three times. Don't want there to be a fourth time.

shopping and it didn't kill me

2007-02-02T11:56:00.000+08:00

It was a holiday yesterday and I decided to make my way down to Lot 10 to shop. How many years has it been since I last step foot there.. methinks a year. Gah how lazy have I become? A few years ago you could say I was always there once a week.

Anyway I actually took the train down to Bukit Bintang, since I wanted to avoid the hassle of the bus. The old me would never use that option (the monorail charges are a bitch).. I guess I did grow older (and lazier) ;_;

I feel kinda disjointed from my old haunts in KL now -- namely Sinma/Kotaraya and Petaling Street. Me needs to get back there one day and find back the old comic/dvd stores that used to be there...

Back on topic; I bought two new work shirts and I'm actually happy about it. That's new. I need to hunt down a shirt @ SEED Work, and my shopping would be 60% done. I still need to find new pants/T-shirts.

I saw that jacket I always wanted at Nicole. They had my size :D I was THIS close to getting it -- until I remembered I owe ppl monies and I still have stuff to pay for. Byes jacket. Maybe if we meet next time at a bargain bin somewhere.... maybe.

And it seems I got karaoke invites for Sat & Sun. At the same place. HUH??

hohohoh

2007-01-22T15:35:00.000+08:00

Land sakes! What this I spy? A rival perhaps? LOL WHAT RIVAL?? I KID SERIOUSLY LOL But great layout and looks definately better than mine, content-wise.. like do I have anything One Piece-y over here? Whose fault is that hmm? *kicks self*

.. I still haven't solved my tax woes yet. It's a small matter but... I reaaaallly don't want to drag myself there and fill out my form *pouts*

tax woes already?

2007-01-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

AW GEEZ I kinda had a shock when I saw what came in the mail today.

INCOME TAX FORM DUN DUN DUNNNNNN~!!!!!

But now I clearly can say there has been a cock-up with the system. They sent me the wrong form because of my 'incorrect' tax file number.
Why is my file number incorrect? Because they farked it up that's why. When I bought the house back then, the effecient ppl gave me a OG numbered file. OG files are for ppl who own their own businesses.... I'm employed which means I deserve a SG file number, not a OG.

Last year they sent me the correct form. But not this year :PPPPP

So I called the helpline up and they tell me I can't ask for the right form till March. Gyah.

They advise me to use the e-filing instead. Which I says OH HELL NO. I have no confidence/trust in government electronic systems, websites etc Till the day Malaysia has proper internet security and not blacklisted by Paypal, I will not conduct such matters over the net unless necessary. (Which explains why I use so much 'protections' for my online purchases...)

Besides I'd like a hardcopy of the taxform TQ VERY MUCH.

Anyway I was informed that I'd probably repeat this shenanigans till I get my file number 'fixed'. So here I am trying to get thru to the branch that has my file so I can tell them to get their act together... politely. Hmmpf. No one's picking up the phone. Slackers.

*pouts*

random posting

2007-01-12T10:55:00.000+08:00

Oh my dear Italian friend, I srsly don't want to spread the fact that I have a fanlist dedicated to me. It's embarassing~!! LIKE REALLY LOLOLOLOLOLOL

There's this weird reddish mark on my hand and I have no idea why/how it got there. :( ???? The mark is on the area where I injured it tho... speaking of injuries, I think I injured my right foot again. I guess I walked too much whilst I was in S'pore? Ceh.

Still haven't modded my DS. No monies yet :(((

singapore killed my wallet

2007-01-10T13:25:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE SH*T it still exists? Aaaaah, so embarassed I thought it would have died and disappeared into cyberspace by now. *stares at j00*

Anyway I return from a trip to Singapore... this is what took half of my luggage. Goddamn I guess I should be thankful for packing light when I went down to the Lion City.

What impressed me the most on this trip is seeing the Video Library at the Esplanade. Videos and dvds available for borrowing* by users *_* OH WONDERS OF WONDERS!!! Oh man I guess ppl should be glad that I'm not Singaporean or I'd raid the library every frikkin day DDDDDD: Old Shakespearean movies to watch and Star Trek TNG boxsets *drools* OHMAIGA~!!!!!!

*Goddamn my English is fantastic.

Anyway I should be surprised if I didn't return sunburnt. GODDAMN SINGAPORE SUN WAS FOLLOWING ME :(((( It rained on the day I left huhuhuhuhh???!!!

We took Ev to the Fullerton. She loves the place -- she wants to go there for the choc buffet 0_0 Have I set loose a monster??!

Work beckons. I must heed its call. And lunch.

first post for 2007 and it's an angry one ORZ

2007-01-03T15:34:00.000+08:00

Ppl in this office never fails to IRK ME. UM YES YOU DO NOT PAY ME ENOUGH TO SIT DOWN AND BABY YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY WHEN YOU WANT TO USE THE PC.
When I tell you the url, I expect you to have enough brains to enter URL in the address bar and view the page yourself. I'm sure you have the intelligence to do so. I see you surf the net for whatever it is you look into.

BUT WHY IS IT YOU EXPECT ME TO DO IT FOR YOU GRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA

PPL HURT ME MAKE IT STOP

*sighs*

Happy Belated New Year btw. Lotsa stuff happened.. me breaking my wallet for one TT_TT Met with plenty of ppl during the long weekend as well. Had fun^^ I just wish I didn't have to spend so much on fannish things...

Anyway, going to S'pore this weekend :D Here's hoping the floods won't affect the train.. much *crosses fingers*

RRRRRRR

2006-12-26T08:15:00.000+08:00

You would think, as you get older you'd earn the right to get up late. But nuuOOOOOOOOOOOOO *grumpy face*

*looks at the time* It is a fucking crime for me to be awake at 8 fucking o clock. Who the hell do I file a report with? The Fairy Police? T_T Damn new login system that makes me get into work by 8am. Damn it to heck.

I'm sick with the flu (again) and I half-asleep in the office. Hahah they wanted me to be in by 8am but that doesn't mean I have to be alert/lucid by 8am. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I think I'm gonna buy a new keyboard... the ergonomic kind yeah.

hate coffee

2006-12-20T10:14:00.000+08:00

*switching over to new Blogger interface*
Hmmm where is the publish button?

I had an incident just now that proves I should NEVER drink coffee as long as I live. You guys should know that I hate coffee & tea. I can stomach certain kinds of tea (green tea is yum) but we hates coffes.

So this morning for breakfast... I had to buy coffee. Since there was no Belgian Chocolate and I had to settle on mocha for my chic fix. I drank -- and I found yup, I still hate coffee :PPPP

And then... I accidently spilled it over the keyboard. ^76%^%!$7&*!(& ~ !!!!

Still trying to dry the thing -- and I think no damage was done. Aside the fact that my keyboard smells of mocha :S

GRRRRR, NO MORE COFFEE FOR ME AS LONG AS I LIVE.

post-CF and oh my the mailman is nice today

2006-12-18T17:29:00.000+08:00

I need a T-shirt that says "I survived CF06 and all I got was alousy T-shirt" LOLZ

It was a blast... more details over at the LJ. I don't think I blew my savings on the event. Didn't buy much doujins and I didn't want any artbooks (a lot of artbooks this year) But I did get a Kyouya canbadge & Mori bookmark XDDD And Vincent postcards ohohoohoh.

Anyway... a package came for me today.

It's a DS from my friend Andy *_* I really can't thank you enough for letting me have this. But I can't play with it currently tho NO MONEY TO MOD IT HAHAHA LAWL I IS BROKE

Looks like I will have to wait for a while to play ff3 :(

should I or shouldn't I?

2006-12-06T11:27:00.000+08:00

You know... I'm seriously thinking of dumping my -seriously- neglected wallpaper site. I mean I haven't touched it in ONE YEAR or more... it's just gathering dust and eating Hananananah's webspace :( My apologies.

I don't even have to drive to make wallpapers anymore. Them kids with their fantastic vector pizazz these days... I can't even try to compete with that *sighes*

Putting the emo aside, let's amuse ourselves with the crazy illustrations found in the Jpn manual for the Nintendo Wii LOL

travel talk

2006-12-05T18:13:00.000+08:00

Btw, I bought my train tickets for my short trip to S'pore... Jan 6-9.

And then my travel partner Ev brought this up on me. She wants to visit the Botanical Gardens in S'pore.

And I go like this, "SAY WHAT?"

Because I pretty much don't understand her need/want to see the Botanical Gardens LOL Is there anything special there in the first place? Well Ev said she wants to go there because everytime she's been on the island the place was always closed. So she wants to take the opportunity to see it next month.

I do appreciate nature as much as the next person -- altho I will not CAMP/rough it out in the wild. I like my creature comforts i.e. toilets, comfy bed and refridgerator for one.

But.. I guess it depends on where I'm travelling. Like for instance, if I were going to tour the Amazon, yes I would be willing to rough it up/endure the leeches and god knows what. It comes with the territory..

But Singapore? That pretty much means I want to visit comic stores, book stores and toy shops. (Singapore is a haven for anime-related merchandise. Not like Japan but it's better what I can get here in Malaysia.) Not see some trees & birds in some fancy enclosure LOL I can do THAT and more at our local parks and zoos. And it's cheaper too.

Anyway, I told Ev if we have the time we might find ourselves at the damned Botanical Gardens. There better be some interesting things to see there.

still sick

2006-12-05T18:07:00.000+08:00

Auuugh I had a nosebleed jus now :( Not the happy fangurl type but the 'I blew my nose hard and blood came out' type :PPP

Enabling comments via Blogger is a pain. Let's not do that again... anyway, new layout^^ The return of the green-haired marimo ^3^ I should've put this up like a month ago but... *shrugs shoulders*

Thanks for the vote of confidence but I seriously doubt I can pass the Jpn proficiency test LOL

ze plane boss ze plane

2006-12-04T18:52:00.000+08:00

Bleh. Still haven't recovered from the viral infection of my DAMN sinuses. Be gone viruses from my nasal cavity *flail arms around*

Ho hum. Take a gander at what I bought recently. A new CASIO watch; Isetan KLCC is having a Casio clearence sale atm and I took the opportunity to buy this watch... in actuality I really shouldn't splurge since I already have a watch. But... I really wanted a metal watch and this was really marked down (70%)

So you can guess what I decided in the end^^ It's been long since I wore a analog watch. My main requirement for a watch is they must have some sort of date indicator* -- that pretty much narrowed my choices to digital type. (Back then mixed displays like there weren't as commonplace as it is now.)

*Because I have trouble remembering what date it is... :PPP

... I like seeing the lil plane go round and round the face LOL

The flipside of this is I really shouldn't have spent on random buys. This month is gonna be a killer for me. With friends coming down for a visit, another friend's birthday, Xmas being close and I just spent a sum on train tickets to Singapore (and an upcoming trip to S'pore)... let's not forget I spent my extra monies on a new pair of glasses.. *slaps forehead* My cash is flowing out of my pockets NOOOESSSSS ORZ

And let's not forget I'll be starting to pay for insurance by Jan 07 *wibbles*

At this rate I'll never get INTERNETS for the house ORZ

Movie watched over the weekend: Death Note. Didn't like it.
Manga/book bought last week : Kekkaishi 7. More lovin for Kekkaishi pls.

33 3_3

2006-11-29T16:22:00.000+08:00

Just got my new pair of glasses... auugh my eyes. Need some time getting used to it 3___3

Anyway, my nose is intent on making me get the flu *so not pleased*. My throat is all gravelly and my voice probably sounds like Ben Grimm atm. I've been having relapses of fever since two days ago. Very much FUN TIME indeed :PPP

I took this Jpn proficiency test online, since a friend pushed me to it... and I scored 55% GO ME I SUCK. This was for Lvl 4 so... I still can't beat kindergarteners *shakes fist* I did poorly in the grammar part especially the adjectives. My vocabulary however was pretty good for a Lvl 4. I'm surprised.

I guess, if I work on it I might just pass Lvl 4... That's a BIG IF though. I'm so goddamned lazy to study mwaraghaggah... *melts into puddle of laziness*

Excuse me while I attempt to cough out my lung.

\(^3^)/

2006-11-17T11:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday a co-worker handed me something VERY NICE \(^3^)/

Yup if you've been here long enough, you'd know about the lovely rare fruit I go crazy after named Nam-nam or 'katakpuru'. Apparently my friend saw the fruit on sale at Sect 17's morning market and she bought it for me *________* Now I must stalk the morning market (if I have the time that is..)

Anyway I texted my mom immediately after receiving the fruit BOHAHAHAHAHAH.

Later that night I chose the largest fruit and ate it. Hur hur hur.

A picture of the skinned fruit. Sorry for the bad camphone pics.

Here's a cross section of the fruit. That half-circle brown thing there is the seed. Pretty small innit? Pls note that the fruit is terribly sour (high in acid) and therefore oxidizes very fast --> the flesh turns brown = icky.

This is how I eat the fruit. WITH SOY SAUCE & SUGAR. DAMN MY KIDNEYS ARE HATING ME. It's a must since the fruit is sour and not really nice to be eaten on its own. Therefore the soy sauce & sugar combats the sour taste.

It's no wonder after eating the fruit I always GULP down lots of water to please my kidneys.

After that hullabaloo now comes the important part... I want to plant the seed and grow my own tree BOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THEN I CAN EAT IT EVERY DAY ~~AND DIE OF KIDNEY FAILURE~~

Thank you whoever it is UP THERE for allowing me to enjoy the fruit, for a day or two TT______TT

another injury

2006-11-14T17:23:00.000+08:00

You know a funny thing happened to me last Saturday. I dropped a padlock on my foot. My toe, actually and now it's all purple. Yeah.

TT_TT THAT HURT LIKE HELL. Click here if you want to survey the damage. I don't think I broke any bones but now there's a nasty bruise/blood clot underneath the toenail. Man this is gonna take ages to go away :((((

If anyone steps on my foot, I WOULD KILL THEM.

Besides that, my mom hath returned back to her home. I miss the fine food already. The cupboard is back to being bare. Back to instant ramen for me TT_TT (It has been proven that I can't cook because of my poor taste buds.) LE SIGH.

This month might prove to be my undoing since I am in need of things. Such as a new pair of glasses. I've had my current pair for years and my eyesight went up again. There's also the fact I need to update my flimsy wardrobe :-/ My fashion sense isn't cheap nor normal, since I dun like whatever's in fashion atm.

Speaking of fashion, I was watching the telly the other day and was shocked to hear that we have goth-wannabes here in Malaysia. Well these goths seem to be the type that listens to My Chemical Romance and Evanescence... not the goth-rock/hardcore Marilyn Manson types. There was footage of them, being decked in their goth-wear.

If I saw them, I swear I would've thought they were cosplay fans or something. Not goth fans .. because in my mind, I envision goth fans would look rather like Marilyn Manson/visual kei-ish, ya know? Hah, goes to show you how 'animanga culture' have warped my mind.

My toe is throbbing. ;_;

waaaugh

2006-11-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

My credit statement came in today. I owe them RM 1000.
So.. RM 1000 + RM 1300 = I OWE THEM RM 2300 +++ OHSHITZ I AM SO SCREWED.

Looks like I'll have to cutback on spending yeah. No using the plastic ;_; *considers cutting off right hand*

update!

2006-11-06T18:16:00.000+08:00

So.. yesterday I blew RM1.3k for this. Can we say "I'm weak as a jellyfish?" T_T

Ze model came out officially which meant the blue model is out. Yesh and I cursed the day it happened. So out came the credit card and further I plunge into debt HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT MYSELF.

Anyway I spent the whole day looking for themes... let's not forget adding various FF midis <-- I YAM DORK.
My next bonus will definately go to the credit card company ORZ And I still haven't gotten a DS yet = more spending and my Kino orders = more spending.

... I feel very depressed atm ORZ

random post

2006-10-31T12:53:00.000+08:00

I was up at the balcony, on a Sunday putting my laundry out to dry.

Then I heard this really familiar tune playing. At first I told myself I was hallucinating since my brain likes to fool my ears by subconciously playing music in my head. Plus, how the hell could I hear that famous prelude music while I'm out in the balcony? Ha ha ha ha. Damn brain.

And then the music got louder and louder till I could hear the FF Prologue music blasting from next door.

.... Looks like my neighbour is playing FF12. Ceh. There's no mistaking that arranged version. Either that or he's watching the fmv-'movie' cd but I heard English voices. So, game. Definately.

Times like these makes you wish you had the Door Door ability so you could go next door and beat the guy up and steal the ps2. Hur hur.

my mom saw my room omigods

2006-10-31T12:52:00.000+08:00

Well, I got my Raya cookies yesterday so last post's title is pretty much moot LOL

Anyway yesterday my mom tells me she went upstairs 0____0 I KNEW I SHOULD'VE CLEANED UP MY ROOM. But that's not the point... the point is she saw my rather big collection of manga. Awawawawawawa she always nags me about wasting my money on books.

Surprisingly enough she didn't say anything about it. Huh?

Maybe she'll nag me tomorrow or something. Granted when I came back yesterday, she seemed a lil tired. And surprised hehehe. Oh well.

where's my Raya cookies??!

2006-10-26T15:49:00.000+08:00

Hey, it's after Raya and no one is in the office. Excepting me, of course.

Since Mom is here, the fridge actually looks like a fridge. IT HAS VEGETABLES! THE NON-MIXED KIND. THE SHOCK. LOL She actually cooked some food for us TT_TT Been a while since I tasted home-cooked food... I guess she got sick with take-out. (I myself can't really depend on take-out too long. That's why I sometimes eat in, regardless it's instant ramen or soup-in-the-can.. nothing beats the feeling of eating something you prepared? Which is something, coming out of my mouth, a person with no culinary skills whatsoever.)

Mom cooked fried rice = ME HAPPY. Me likes me fried rice.

In other news, I put up some of random mangas for sale over at CF forum. It would be nice if somebody would take it all offa my hands -- so far I made quite lil sales. I'm surprised to see PMK get snapped up first.. I thought ppl would be clamouring over the CLAMP stuff.

.... crap, I just looked at something I didn't want to. IYAAAAAAAAAA.
You know Nirvana's Rape Me? Replace 'rape' with 'spork' and you'd have MY song LOL Spork me Spork me muh friends...